Everyone has a lifestyle brand. Actors. Musicians. Chefs. Stylists.
For some reason, fiction writers have shied away from this trend. It’s a mystery why. For centuries, writers enjoyed the mystique of rap stars with unsolved murders. They spearheaded movements. Coined popular phrases. After Thoreau showed up in Copley Square with this beard, The Boston Evening Transcript declared it “the Billy Goat Fuzzies Look.” Women’s Wear Daily called it “prickling” and “fetching.” In the ensuing weeks, over 10 million gentlemen took a razor to their faces and started appearing in public just like this, on purpose.
Yet, the tide has shifted. Writers have drifted to the periphery of celebrity like a bit of foamy murk in a fishpond. They have come to be regarded as quaint little oddities, to be dutifully withstood a few times a year like your distant cousin, Barry Railroads.
The multi-platform brand where everyone can dust themselves with authorial stardust. We’ll be starting small. Just a few choice products. And a collaboration with Richard Price. When his next novel comes out–tentatively titled Dumb Tight, Na’mean?–there will be an ability for millennials to shop the story. We’ll also be doing a secret pop-up shop at a Brooklyn factory that formerly manufactured typewriters (and when that led to bankruptcy, cat food).
So, please, poke around the site and leave your feedback largely in your own mind.
I’m new at this, so you’ll have to bear with me, but I am also a mom-preneur who read Lean In and subscribes to Lenny, so you’re going to have to lean out, just a little, to make room for my handbag.
Recipes range from celery sticks to rice cakes.
A line of vintage cotton leisurewear perfect for writing a masterpiece, including black leggings, tops with reinforced elbows (for staring blearily at the screen), boxy cardigans (for weekly jaunts outside or when Con-Ed has turned off the heat), and T-shirts reading: Please, World, stop writing Your when you mean You’re.
This phony hardback copy of Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique will become the must-have defense for all American college women attending frat parties. The 3 lb. polyurethane brick operates as blunt object (for easy bludgeoning of any attacker), wide-angle video camera (with HD surround sound), 180-decibel rape alarm, Rohipnol tester, and voice-activated dial feature that automatically alerts your mom, your attacker’s mom, and the police (optional Thomas Harris-inspired red dye splatter-feature not included in base model).
A version in Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl will be available Spring 2017 in preparation for Spring Break trips to Cabo.
Introducing Cormac McCarthy’s Only Occasional Commas. For the Man Who Thinks You’re a Crackpot. Bleak notes of prairie sage and desert dust, plus a post-apocalyptic hint of ash.
Check out these all-natural, excruciatingly-wrought products–and more–at Ellipsis…
Release Your Writer.™